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226- Katie P Part 1

226- Katie P- Part 1

Katie P 00:00

I told her I said, Look, I got I got a problem with dry goods. I'm very clear on that. You know, I'm ashamed of myself, because I can't get out of bed in the morning. I'm spending all the money. I'm not raising this kid, right? I was raised on values. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I clearly knew it was an alcohol. It was just the dry goods. If you could just get me to stop the dry goods. I remembered saying quote unquote, to this chick, I don't have a problem with booze. I've been drinking it all my life

John M 00:34

what Hello friends a bill W and other friends you have landed on sober speak. My name is John M. I am an alcoholic. And we are glad you're all here, especially newcomers newcomers that is both to recovery as a whole. And newcomers to this podcast. Sober speak is a podcast about recovery centered around the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. My job here on sober speak is simple. My job is to provide a platform to the amazing stories of recovery all around us. Consider silver speak if you will, your meeting between meetings. Please remember, we do not speak for a or any 12 Step community. We represent only ourselves. We are here to share our experience, strength and hope with those who wish to come along for the ride. Take what you want, and leave the rest at the curb for the trash man to pick up from Studio A deep in the heart of Texas. That was the voice of the one and only Miss Katie P that you heard at the beginning of this episode. This episode here number 226. And you are going to hear so much more from Katie P in just a moment. But first things first, this episode is being brought to you by Laura and Tanya in Janice Do you know what Laura and Tanya and Janice did? Well, let me fill you in ladies and gents. They went to our website They clicked on the little yeller donate tab and they made a a contribution. Leo's so thank you so much, Laura, and Tanya, and Janice, this episode right here. Number 226. is coming out right out to humans. Thank you so much for your generosity. I, John M. Just another Bozo on the bus will indeed be the chairperson for this meeting between meetings. And I am truly honored and privileged to serve all of you listening in. So take a seat if you will, around this a virtual table. And let's get started. And remember, no matter who you are, or what your past looks like, You Are Welcome Here it is an open table to all it. We're so glad you have joined us. Just real quickly, I want to put out a little announcement that something happened. Something technical happened with my email over the past week. It's a very long story and it has something to do with something I do not understand something called MX files and I had to get in touch with Google and do all this stuff. So nonetheless, it went out this last week. So just in case you sent me some communication and you didn't hear back from me or came back undeliverable or something like that that's what was going on. So I guess there's worse things that can happen and Wi Fi was a little frustrating was going on but we shall survive as everyone knows. Now on to Miss Katie P. Part One. And some of you may be familiar with Katie P in fact, I bet a lot of you are who are going to be listening to this as she's actually married to the spouse of Charlie P who has been a regular on this podcast. Katie has been sober since 1984. And she lives in Austin, Texas. We discuss all kinds of things. She talks about her relationship with her father, her mother's early death growing up in the 1960s in a small Texas community what that was like moving out of the house To be on her own as 16 years old, her 1968 Rambler for those of you who remember, remember what a Rambler is it we discuss much, much more now remember, this is part one of Katie p. So you will want to return next week for the second part of Katy. I'll be releasing these back to back. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you Miss Katie P. Enjoy. Katie will have plenty Oh, listen to feedback at the end of this episode.

John M 05:40

Okay, everybody. So today, we are sitting here with Miss and she's got a big smile on her face with Miss Katie p. So, Katie, I'm going to set it up a little bit more than that. But go ahead. Introduce yourself. Give your sobriety date, if you will, and tell people where you live in this great land of ours, please.

Katie P 06:04

Well, thanks, John. It's It is an honor and privilege to be here. My name is Katie Parker. I am an alcoholic. I've been sober since October the 28th of 1984. I'm 63 years old I came in when I was 26 years old. I live in Austin, Texas. I got sober in Austin, Texas. got very drunk in Austin, Texas, and just have a lot of life experience to share of what sobriety is all about and what getting closer to my Creator is.

John M 06:38

So we have had, a lot of people are going to recognize the pee part of your name. And what I mean by that is we've had Charlie pee on the podcast, oh, probably five, six times something of that nature. And he has been doing what I call a slow walk through the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And now we get his better half here. And I I tell you what I do. As you know, we've been going back and forth and try to get you on and I'm so excited that you're here. So you got so so I didn't know that. Excellent. So you guys over in Austin. I used to live in Austin for many years. I worked on my story there if you well used to work off a sixth street. I was a bartender down there. What year it was, this would have been so I got sober in 1989. And so there was probably probably five years or so before that. So you know, in the the mid 80s around that area.

Katie P 07:43

That's when I did all my drinking and it was all down on Sixth Street.

John M 07:47

Oh, we may have read across each other. Have you ever heard of the bar called too loose down there?

Katie P 07:53

Oh, very much very much. So is that where you bartended

John M 07:57

that's one of the places I've worked in it but I mean I bartended all over the city. I used to be at a place in Northwest Austin like it was up at like far west and nope Mopac if you know that area. That's Wow, yeah. Okay.

Katie P 08:14

There's like there's, you know, pelicans wharf was a big hot spot. Jay Alfred's was a big hot spot I mean we had it was back in the day when Happy Hour started out as gift three you know buy one get three than it was buy one get five all the way up to buy one get 15 and 30 Drink sitting in front of you it was just that rocket bruise but I mean sweet

John M 08:44

Yeah, so the chances are decent that we were in the same place and I used to go out to what's called the The Oasis a lot is that place still open alcohol was

Katie P 08:57

it burnt down but it they rebuilt it and it's still just fantastic. I mean, it's a great place to go. You know drunk or sober. Yeah, if you've sober parties out there, but we did did you do so Creek?

John M 09:11

So I don't remember. I don't remember on there. That was the

Katie P 09:14

70s that was you know, Delbert McClinton? You know, you could you were six feet from him. And clearly I was going to marry him and he had no idea who you know that the dreams we have.

John M 09:28

And I remember I never ran across him. But Stevie Ray Vaughn, I think rather and all the people that he hang out with and stuff like that. I would use them every once in a while.

Katie P 09:37

That was at Steamboat Springs, which is where my best friend was the manager. And then another dear buddy of mine who's still sober. She just got a 31 year chip. She was the bartender. So we all drank together back in the day and Stevie Ray was there and I mean, it was it was incredible. It we had so flippin much fun. It was on killing one.

John M 10:01

Well that's it. And, you know, in every once in a while you hear somebody came into a group comes in a and they say, you know, I just never had 100 Going out there and I'm like, man, you're doing it. Right.

Katie P 10:13

Right. You I don't know about you, but when somebody says what do they say? My worst day? Sober still better than Right? Like, what? Not me. I'm telling you. I enjoyed it out there for a long long time. Then it quit but right trying to chase it and find it. And then I had I had kids so that and I was a single mom. So the whole thing the wheels fell off so bad, you know, they just fell.

John M 10:42

So let's rewind here a little bit then. So you grew up?

Katie P 10:47

No, I grew up in Houston and down in Freeport Texas, down by the coast, Surfside San Louis past that area. And so, but I grew up in Houston in the 60s, when, let me tell you, if you really wanted to live live in Houston in the 60s, I mean, we were, you know, going to the concerts. My dad, I my mom had died when I was young. She had a kidney disease. I was eight. My sister was 10. My brother was 12. My dad was a ex NFL football player and a an engineer for Union Carbide. And he remarried three times in 18 months, and we had four live in housekeepers. I mean, it was it was crazy. So he wanted the Houston Coliseum had bands, I mean, Grand Funk, fog, fog, had all the bands every week, and my dad would literally in the stationwagon dropped me off in the seventh grade at those concerts. And I mean, I was having the time of my life, I might meet my girlfriends, I might just meet new people. And I mean, it was it was just a different day and age there were you know, it wasn't unusual. It wasn't unusual at 16 to date somebody 22 You know, I mean, it just wasn't unusual. And you know, nowadays My God, it's, I don't even get me started, but it was what it was. So I have seen just about every band you could see for a whole whopping $4.50 and just had a great time.

John M 12:17

Are you a classic rock kind of girl?

Katie P 12:19

Love Led Zeppelin. You know, they were they were my favorite Led Zeppelin and Grand Funk. For my favorites. I was at Mark Farner and I were supposed to also get married. He he just didn't know.

John M 12:31

I was kind of like, into the Ted Nugent and Aerosmith and, and Tom Petty and the whole nine yards. But yeah, I have so many fond memories of Avastin. So okay, so in terms of your, you know, first 1618 years, wherever you want to get to, what are some significant milestones, anything you want to say about your background growing up?

Katie P 12:58

Well, my dad was a real he was an only child. And my mother was an only child. So we had only grandparents. I didn't know what a cousin was. I didn't know what an uncle was it just, you know, if you don't have them, you don't know. And maybe my brother and sister understood that, but I was the baby. And when my mom died, it was in the 60s, you know, and it was a time when the generation really 40 and under don't know this, but children were not allowed in the hospitals back in the day, you couldn't go into hospital because of childhood illnesses. And you could get people sick. So my mom clearly got sick, and no, it was 1967. And she went into the hospital and we're like, What's wrong with her? Where'd she go? And the next thing I know my dad has is going in the hospital. And little do I know we're saying goodbye to her. Little does my sister. No, no, my brother was picking up on a he was 12. But we're walking down the corridors of the hospital. And I mean, you see the nurses where they had the little hat, the little white hat on, and they're looking at you just kind of covering their face talking to somebody and you're like, This is weird. What is going on, and we went in there and she's hooked up to all these machines. And she looked little bitty in the bed and and I just remembered I wanted out of there. My sister wanted out of there and we leave that night. And then the next morning, my dad comes in and sits down on the bed and says you know your mom died last night. And yeah, it was like a car wreck and it was a kidney disease. And believe it or not Dr. DeBakey and Dr. Cooley worked on her. So if you're from Houston, those names ring a bell. And and I'll tie a cool story into that because it was in the 60s, right? It was mid 60s. And I'm up at Wilson house Charlie and I were doing a big book workshop and the Secretary there was probably about 74 And she and I were talking and she was Dr. DeBakey. Secretary, and she said I probably had at least your mother's paperwork in my hands at one time. Is that now wild when we just happened to, you know, mention Houston and then I said that thing about my mom and, and I told her I said, how cool is that? You know, I mean, you know, not that she met her, but that she would have been, you know, in the stream of that environment. But needless to say, after my mom died, my dad had remarried six weeks later. Okay, so once again, most people are like, oh, whoa. But in that day and age, he needed a mother badly for his three children because he traveled to Pittsburgh, every week from Monday to Friday, because he was an engineer for Union Carbide. So we were in Houston, and the US steel plant was up in the Northeast. So then we we, She lasted a weekend. There you go. And then my dad had to have a live in housekeeper. So we had four live in housekeepers, and three mothers come through our house and an 18 month period. And, and I always thought it was my dad. And now the older I get, I'm like, Oh my God, it was clearly my brother and sister and I, we ran every person who ran the housekeeper's off. We were good, little bad little kids. I was gonna say a bad word. We were bad kids. I mean, we were like, menaces. You know, we, we would torment the The housekeeper's by scaring them and all kinds of stuff. But it's funny when you look back at it now how all three of us handled that tragedy. Because my brother is clearly a hard drinker. I thought he was alcoholic, but I now that I really, really understand what it means to be alcoholic. He's a hard drinker. My sister is an Al Anon that likes to get a drink on untreated allanon that likes to get a drink on. And then I was the one with the genetic bullet. That was the alcoholic. My dad probably was alcoholic. But once again, binge drinkers are always hard to figure out because given sufficient reason, it looks like they stop or moderate. And then they go on a binge again, you know, now they get closer and closer. But I don't know, you know, some when it comes to family, sometimes it's hard to really dot the eye and figure it out if they're alcoholic or not because of the allergy and the mental obsession, where you and I could talk and figure it out. And but so yeah, so we were in Houston, and oh, my God, I mean, we were my sister was Dayton, heroin addicts. And my brother was, you know, shooting yellows. And I mean, it was a mess. Because the last woman, my dad married, who remained my stepmother for till she passed away. In her 80s. My dad and her had a romance like you wouldn't believe. I mean, they loved each other. So dearly partied together. And they went down to the beach all the time, and partied and left us three kids at home. And I mean, it was wild. It was a wild party. And we had all these guys coming over with, you know, 40, fives and doing a ton of dope and all kinds of stuff. And it just seemed normal to me. You know what I mean? I liked it. I liked all of it. And my dad decided that he wanted to give it all up and move down to the beach and open a bar at Surfside for God's sakes of all things. So it gives up this incredible career leaves before his pension. And we're living on the beach and what I called the bomb shelter. It was right. I mean, it was horrible. So we took more or less only, and then all the other kids were old enough because now we're going into high school, all the other kids were older and they were gone. And lives and I we just we ran into two girls that got drunk on and got their got their other, you know, dried goods on and we just partied our ass off. And I resented my father so badly for moving us down there. But today, and honestly, this goes out to everybody that thinks their parents did them wrong. And I'm not saying everybody doesn't have a story that their parents could have done better. But my dad moved us because we were all in the drug and alcohol world. And he put us at the end of the earth, where there was no phone, know where to go, no nothing. And to a parent that looks like the solution. But we found the people that's what we just gravitate to the ones that look like they're doing the stuff we want to do. And and I really wish I could have been better in my sobriety in my amends process with my father, because he and I fought like cats and dogs and I left home at 15 because he was so pissed off at me one time and he said if you can't live under the rules of this house, you can't live here and I know he didn't mean that. And I thought I took it as holla lujah it's a ticket out of here, man. I mean, I called my boyfriend he came and picked me up and away we went and I never went back. You know, that's a whole story in itself with what everybody is a different day and age, the principal at school realized I wasn't living at home, yada yada yada. He said, I'll work with you, Kate. If you don't, if you start dropping out and bad grades, you can't you can't do this. You're going to have to go back home. You know, he called me in his office. I lived in the principal's office in junior high and Houston. I lived in the principal's office, up here but in in Freeport, but they they love me. I mean, he he really love me. I wasn't the kid that was constantly getting in trouble. I was the kid that was really hard to contain. You know what I mean? It's like, God, dang it. Katie, I saw you over at the hospital. It was during fifth period. What were you doing out of school? That kind of stuff. You know what I mean? It's like, wow.

Katie P 20:57

You know, so it I got I had so many people bend over backwards. Because they really liked me. And they knew I was a kid that wanted I talked a woman into rent me a house when I was 16. Actually, I was 15. I was 15 years old. She rented me a little house for 6250. Right on the the kind of the bay area where the shrimp boats parked and, and she let me pay her 32 3250 every two weeks, and I went and knocked on doors and asked people if I could, you know, rake their leaves move the bricks from one side of the yard to the other. I mean, anything I was washing and waxing cars, because I just had to make a living and still go to school. And yeah, so I graduated early. I cheated my way all the way through school, I learned to cheat in the second grade. got damn good at it. So I'm, I always say, I don't know how to spell I don't comprehend well, but I'm, I'm an incredible businesswoman. And I can make a lot of money. So you know, I mean, it, it's, you know, I always like to say, I don't know where Venezuela is. And I really don't care. You know, I mean, it's just it's people say, you know, I, it took me forever to understand what the UK meant. And I still don't even know if I have it right. So I'm not going to go down that road. But Charlie is just a big brain. And he wants me to learn that stuff. And I could care less. So that's a that's a whole a whole part of my life. But yeah, I left home at 15. And it was pretty, pretty interesting run.

John M 22:36

We will be continuing our conversation with KDP in just a moment. Just to reminder, you are listening to sober speak, you can find us on the worldwide web as sober speaks comm you can also find the donate button on our website, which you can use if and only if the spirit moves you to do such please keep in mind, this is a podcast funded by you the listener, so to speak is a self supporting organization through contributions die. So you have left home now at 1516. And you are living in principals offices and such like that. So we have this period from 16. I know you said you got sober at 26. So take me on a walk through that period from 16 to 26.

Katie P 23:25

Well, I was I left home when I left home at 15. I was probably two or three months from turning 16 which means I was going to have a driver's license. So I worked my tail off to get a money, enough money to buy a $200 1968. Rambler. Right. And I had this fantastic Rambler that was just great. The boys in auto mechanics worked on it, you know, I mean, it was I had everything everybody working for me. And back then at 16, you could get into bars pretty easily, you could actually get into bars at 15 because the drinking age was 18. So it wasn't too terribly difficult. And it was kind of, you know, the long hair hippie so you kind of wore your hair, you know just where your nose showed and your head down and panned on your fake ID. And so I went into club 288 is is if you know, South Texas 288. It's a big, big, long highway. And that was my favorite bar in the whole wide world. I'd go there every day. And I knew a ton of people I always ran with people about four years older than me. So I'm running with all the seniors. And there's this guy that's bugging the crap out of me comes up and he's bugging me and I'm trying to get away from him. So I'm done making my way through a crowd of people and I trip and I fall into the lap of a guy sitting there. And I look up at him and I'm thinking, oh my god, he looked like Cat Stevens. You know what I mean? I mean, I thought, wow, I don't know who that guy is. Oh my god. I'm like I am so Sorry, I'm so sorry. So I leave and come to find out. He knew the buddies I was running with. And he ended up calling me. And keep in mind, this is all landlines, right. So he calls me at my house, which by the way, I had a phone, which is pretty darn impressive, right? I mean, I had gas. I had a, I had a stove, put in backdoor didn't shut oarlock, but by golly, I had a phone. And.

Katie P 25:27

And he said, No, first he asked my buddy, how old is she? And my buddy said, she's only she's 16. And he goes, Oh, forget it, forget it. This guy was 24. And he goes, forget, he goes, but she lives up by herself. She doesn't live at home. And he's like, what? And the next thing you know, his name is Robert. He called me and asked me out. And he's 24. And I'm 16. And I'm thinking, Oh, my God. And it was so flippin much fun. I mean, he lived with two other guys out on the river. And we we just partied like you wouldn't believe. It was really, really, really fun. You know what I mean? How that kind of drinking and, and outside goods. And lo and behold, he and I were together for eight years, it was not a short run. I'm kind of a one trick pony. I don't really like to date. I like to be with one guy. I like to stay committed. I like to grow old with you. It's always been my MO. I like that. And so we were together for eight years. And at 17. I graduated early. And we moved up to Austin Robert. One is Robert wanted to move to Austin. And he was also a merchant marine lab lab lab at VA. And so we came up to Austin. And you know, it was just fabulous. We lived over off of Avenue f It was when Austin was really small. And we were there. We were together for eight years. And at four years together, I got pregnant. And then we had my daughter who's now 42. And we got we were married. We got married when when I got pregnant, but we've been together you know, and and it was it was it was Rocky, let's just put it that way he was he just he just couldn't seem to get that yet. You don't screw around. Okay, I can't you know what I mean? I just couldn't get him to understand that. So when she was about to, I hit had it. I was like, You know what, I'm not doing this. I'm not taking care of this kid while you're out there. galavanting all over the place. He was selling real estate and it just looked shady. Every time I'd look around, it looks shady. And I just saw I left him. And when I left him. Everyone had eyes on me now. And so I'm up in Austin and eyes are on me and they're not liking that I'm drinking. And I'm party in and I'm in the fitness business, and I'm doing dry goods in all the places I can and it was bad. And my stepmothers all over me about you know how I'm raising my daughter and, and everybody was accurate. No doubt about it. I mean, she I never physically abused my daughter, but I definitely abused her with neglect. And that's why I just talked about pitiful and comprehensible demoralisation. It was it was just sad. I didn't get out of bed to feed her. You know, she's three years old. She's got to figure out how to get food herself. I mean, it really is heartbreaking. As a matter of fact, she has my 15 year old grandson and my 10 year old granddaughter. And when Max was three, April called me she was living up in the Pacific Northwest. And this is pretty painful. She said, Mom, I'm doing some therapy and I just can't talk to you right now. I can't see you. I can't talk to you. And she goes, I'm just having some real flashbacks of when I looking at max and thinking about my life. And I told her I said you know what, honey, and we are super close. And I said I I get it. You tell me what you need me to do when you need me to call and of course I called my sponsor and I'm just devastated that I can't fix it, you know, would spend so long but I never occurred to me that once she had kids that would set her off to realize what her childhood because I she was five when I got sober and let me tell you, I was a wild child. And I still worked. I still you know, I had a babysitter till four o'clock in the morning I found a babysitter that did that she took care of all the strippers, kids. I was never in that world never was going to be in that world. But you know what I mean? I found I'm always Self Reliance didn't fail me. I always found a way out to get what I needed and to get through it. And then it just I just got angrier and angrier because I had This kid, and I had an ex husband who was an idiot who moved to Houston and didn't want to help me. And the kid was with me all the time. And it was back when not everybody was saying having kids, you know what I mean? I mean, it was I was like, the only one with a kid and, and it was a real problem. And I like I said, I got the I had a Jazzercise franchise and had it for 30 years. And, and, you know, it was just a, it was a lot of work. And I was very resentful. And my family is, we are hard headed, opinionated and strong willed. And so imagine bringing this sweet little girl. Oh my god, I would just terrorize her by screaming you know, just terrorize her. And, and she is not one of us. Let me tell you, that's, I mean, she is so clearly an Al Anon. And, and sometimes that just breaks my heart for her. But she's doing really, really well got a fabulous marriage, you know, really found a spiritual path did allanon for a while and loved it. You know, she's a great kid. Great kid.

John M 31:08

Okay, so you know, you're now you're up to love it. You say you said you got sober when she was when she was five, right on point six. Okay, so what kind of what was your exposure to Alcoholics Anonymous? How did you find it? What was your last? You know, what was the straw that broke the camel's back?

Katie P 31:32

Well, it's interesting because I always ran with a lot of bands. And I was friends with the bands. So I wasn't the girl that was the groupie roadie that put out for the bands, if you know what I mean. I liked the band's his friends. So I played volleyball with them. And all of these things that I I always wanted that level of integrity that I'm not out just to, to sleep my way to wherever I gotta get. Now don't get me wrong, I could certainly do that. But I had my values, right. And so I'm invited to one of the biggest, dry good parties in Austin, with the band, Johnny D, and the rocket 88. Oh, dear friends of mine love these guys. And this particular party. It wasn't that they had the dry goods, but the party was going to be full of it. And I am so excited. It's Halloween. I'm dressed as Tina Turner. I'm all set to go. And I, my buddy that lived in Houston, that really wanted to grow old with me. But I had no interest in growing old with him. He was just kind of a role in the Hey, buddy. He called me. I'm coming up to Austin to to see a guy in a name of Bob Earl. And I thought, a what? And he goes yeah, I've been sober about eight months. And I bring it a buddy of mine with me. But we can't find a hotel anywhere. Do you mind if we stay with you? And I thought, Oh, I know where this is going. And I know what you guys can stay with my at my house. But I'm telling you, I'm going to this huge party as Halloween party. So there you have it. Okay. Okay. So Tony comes and knocks on my door. And and now keep in mind, it's the night before Halloween, he knocks on my door and I open the door and I go to hug him I have this really cute little house, and I go to hug him. And when I go to hug him, his buddy standing behind him. And I look at this guy and I think oh my god, that is my husband. I'm going to marry that man right there. Because remember, always like to look at somebody and decide I was going to marry him. Right? If I if I married him, I'd be fixed. That's what the problem is. I just haven't found the right husband. And he had just a look that I just couldn't believe and so these guys come in and and I have a girl that staying with me for about three months. I never had roommates ever. And she was staying with me for three months, her boyfriend we're kind of on again off again. And the next thing I know, I go out with these two guys. They're both in a and I don't really know what that means. They're talking about being sober. And I said, clarify what that means. I mean, do you just don't drink alcohol but you smoke pot.

Katie P 34:21

I really didn't get it and I remember being dumbfounded by it. We go out we go to the pistol range. I don't like shooting guns at that time. And I tell them, whatever you guys like I love shooting guns. I mean, I'll do any work chameleons. And so I have the time of my life with these guys. And then that night that we were going to go to an tones and I think we were going to go see Bonnie Raitt. Oh no, no, no, this was something else. We went and did something that night. And then the next night was the Halloween party. So the boys are supposed to or they went to see Bob Earl than this Tonight they were going to go see Bonnie Raitt. So I'm going to go to my big party, they're going to go see Bonnie Raitt. And the girl that staying with me is now taken a liking to the guy that I'm supposed to think I'm marrying. So I don't like that like that at all. And I think if this chick wasn't here, both those boys would have my attention. And I would be the center of attention. But I got my goddang girlfriend here who's blowing the whole deal. And she's a knee walk and drunk, and I was not a knee walking drunk that brought way too much eat if you're a woman, and you are stumbling drunk. You got nine men just coming in on? Yes. So I was I had all my ducks in a row about that. And so I get in my car, I say bye to the boys. I looked like a million bucks. I mean, in a black hot black dress, my hair looks like Tina Turner. And I don't get one block, and it's raining. And my car breaks down because my Oh, broke down, always. And I run back. My hair's a little wet. It's not ruined. Jeff. And Joe goes, let me go check it out. And so he runs to check it out. And he comes back and he goes, Oh, Kate, you're not you're not going anywhere, man, your cars. Your cars really shot. And I went, you have got to be kidding me. I mean, I'm missing the party of my life that I've been invited to. And I'm so disappointed. And they say, Hey, come to Bonnie Raitt with us. And I was like, great. Come to Bonnie Raitt. And so I go down there to Antonio, do you remember and tones? It was a fabulous place? Yeah. Yeah. I go to Angeles. Well, I'm nobody's dressed up in Halloween costumes at this point. You know, I'm like, looking like a hooker is what I look like. But go down there. And Tony is all about wanting to, you know, hook up with me. And the other girl is basically sitting on Joe's lap, and I'm pissed, and I am not happy. And the more I start drinking, I'm drinking, I'm drinking. And then I push a door at Anton's to think I'm going in another room, and I end up out in the alley. And I'm like, How the hell did I get out here? So I walk all the way around the building, and they will let me back in. I don't have my purse. I don't have anything. And well, that's just great. So I'm getting angrier and angrier and long story short, I am so pissed off that this chick is with Joe. And I should be with Joe. I don't want to be with Tony. He's bugging the crap out of me. And in a huge fight with Tony. And then Joe is in the other room. Doing God knows what with the other chick. I mean, it is the it is the 80s Am I Hell, I'm sure it's going on today. But that was that's what we did back then. And so I sit in the bathroom. And I told Tony, go go to bed, go to bed. I just you're bugging me. And I'm drinking and smoking cigarettes, and flicking them in the bathtub. And I realize, Oh my God, you know what, I don't know how to get these guys attention. I'll tell him, I want to go to AA. That's what I'll do. And keep in mind, I'm doing dry goods. So I am I am amped up. So I go in and I wake Tony up and I said, Tony, hey, I think I have a drinking problem. And he looks at me, he goes, what? Okay, I have a drinking problems. And all of a sudden he jumps up he goes, I'm going to go get Joe and I thought

Katie P 38:24

this is working. This is working. And then he wakes Joe up in about two or three in the morning Joe comes in, and they do what they called 12 Step me now I had no idea what it was. All I remembered is I finally got both your attention. And that was good enough for me. Well, by six o'clock in the morning, because we talked for about four hours, six o'clock in the morning. I'm ready to try to lay down and go to bed. And of course I can't sleep and the meeting was at nine o'clock. And they're telling me oh, no, no, Katie, we got to go to the meeting. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no. Sorry, I, I'm really fine. I kind of got my knee. That is what I'm thinking. And they're like, No, you're going to the meeting. And I thought, Oh, for God's sakes, and I am nervous wreck. And we go into suburban. I'll never forget it. My sweet friend Michelle. Very is just She's just my dearest friend. Now. She was in the room. And another girl was in the room. And I had Tony on one side and Joe on the other. And keep in mind my hair was gold, right? And it was like this way it was just pressed to one side because it had so much hairspray in it. And I'll never forget they said Is anybody new? And everybody just turned around and looked at me. And I thought oh, I guess must be obvious and I stand up which I have never seen anyone stand up. And I just said, my name is Katie and I thought I'm not saying I'm alcoholic or nothing. You know, I've just my name is Katie. And I sat back down and Tony leans over and goes Katie, before the meeting even, you know got going it was being introduced. But, you know, I didn't hear any shares. He said, this girl wants to talk to you in the kitchen. And I thought, whatever, I got you both you guys on my side, I don't want to go anywhere. And he goes, go talk to her. And I'll be God dang, this chick. I told her, I said, Look, I got a problem with dry goods. I'm very clear on that, you know, I'm ashamed of myself, because I can't get out of bed in the morning. I'm spending all the money. I'm not raising this kid, right? I was raised on values. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I clearly knew it was an alcohol, it was just the dry goods. If you could just get me to stop the dry goods. I remembered saying quote, unquote, to this chick, I don't have a problem with booze. I've been drinking it all my life. Now today, I thought that was a clear understanding to her. And she gave me a first step experience that was remarkable. And, and I couldn't believe it. I thought, Oh, my God, I've got an alcohol problem. And from that point on, I thought, This is terrible. Well, Joe and Tony were best friends. And Joe was not going to step in the way of his friend, his friend really wanted to be with me. He really wanted to grow old with me. And I'm like, Dude, I do not want to grow old with him. And so Joe and I were kind of flirting. And Joe said, Katie, I can't. It's not right for me. Oh, I know what it was. Joe was getting his six year chip that day, and I didn't know what that meant. And he said, today's my six year a birthday. As matter of fact, you and I'll share the same sobriety date. And I mean, once again, this magical mind of mine never stopped with self reliance. And I thought, if I stay sober for one year, you'll at least call me. I mean, that's pretty lame. But God worked in many, many ways. And I thought, You know what, and he they went back to Huntsville, and Joe would call me and check on me every day and see how I was doing and I'm still sober and I detoxed on the couch. That was miserable. Michelle took care of me. And long story short, I mean, I really believe that God brought me into AA, probably five years before child protective services would have, because they somebody would have started to see, they were already seeing April had some pretty serious neglect going. And one time I sent by accident, somebody knocked on the door, and I threw my little dry goods packet in her lunch kit. And the school called me and said, there's a razor blade of straw in her lunch kit. Yeah, so I mean, it was it was coming so close to getting in trouble and had Child Protective Services gotten involved in my life, I would have gone to a and and I fell in love with the fellowship. So God, God organized everything for me to want to get there. Joe and I got together. 19 days later, he came and moved in with me as he should. And we were married for 20 years. And so it's unbelievable.

John M 43:08

That is incredible. Okay, so Katie, here's what we're gonna run into. I am so interested in this conversation. And I know there is more to it. How about we do this? Will you come back some other time? And talk about you and your journey after getting sober? Will you be up for that? I would love to. Okay, Katie. So what I always do is then this up with page 164, from the big book, and it says, abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to him and to your fellows. clear away the wreckage of your past. give freely of what you find. Join us. We shall be with you in the fellowship of the spirit, and you will surely meet some of those like me and Katie be as you trudge the road of happy destiny. May God bless you, and keep you until then. Thank you so much, Katie, and I look forward next time we get together.

Katie P 44:10

You bet, John. Thank you,

John M 44:12

Katie. P. That was absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much again, and for those of you listening at home remember, we do not want you sharing your gossip. But we would love to have you share this episode with a friend or family member. It may be just what they need today. So go ahead and pause that device and send this episode episode on over and remember, we will be having a follow up for Katie P next week on the second part of my interview with her and you're going to want a cat that believe me she is absolutely incredible. Now, onto a little bit of a listener feedback. Brian G writes Oh, in just in case you're tuning in, and you're thinking, I wonder if he'll read what I wrote him, and you don't hear it? Well, it possibly may be because of what I mentioned on the beginning of this episode today, just in case you didn't catch it. And that is that my email went out for about five or six days, something like that, once again, has something to do with Google and some call MX files. And I don't know how it all happened, but it did. And we finally got all that resolved in John. So Jo HN is sober speak calm, is back in order if you want to reach out to me or you want something to say about either Katie P, or the other speakers that we've had on our guests that we've had on, however, you want to look at that. If you want to reach out to me, you can but nonetheless, if you're tuning in, you're thinking, I wonder if he's gonna read what I wrote him, you may have to resend that or just reach out to me and ask me if I got hurt or something like that. Okay. Nonetheless, Brian G writes in and Brian says, John, I found sober speak during December, I was on vacation, and I had to miss my regular meet meeting. I've been sober for about 16 months, I needed a quote, meeting between meetings and found sober speak. It is now my favorite podcast of all. Thank you, Brian. I just got through with rich B from Ocean City, Maryland. What an awesome two episodes. Keep up the great work. And you're right. Mr. Richie was fantastic to have on In fact, I'm going to have another episode from rich coming up here in the near future. Brian, and but thank you for your comments. Thanks for listening in. Thank you for comments about rich B. I appreciate it. He's absolutely fantastic. Um, okay, so I was in the Oh, okay. So I am not going to read that one. It's something to do with me. Read it. Okay, so, now you're go what is? Okay, so here it is. I was in a. I looked in the Facebook group, and William posted in there and John, and he put a big post in there says John M. I think you do a great job. And and that's not why I'm reading this, right. I'm reading this because you guys are vantastic, he said, and I said, Hey, you're very kind, it takes all of us. I'm just another Bozo on the bus. And so but the reason that William put this in there, and the Facebook group, he says, Jonathan heard somebody slam you on your podcast and in the spirit of unity, FL like telling you that I appreciate your service, and I get a lot of the work you put into the AI community. And I just thought that was so cool. And then Rainey also kind of piled on there. And she says absolutely love your podcast, John M. and I and everyone shares help keep me sober. Being on a small island, which is where Rainey lives, we get to support each other with our meetings, but I need one, but I need for one. To be hear more. I for one need to hear more shares. And I get that from sober speak we'll weekly I get a hint of excitement each weekend. When I know the episode is due out. You truly make a difference for all involved in this wonderful podcast and the fellowship. Thank you so thank you so very much and all big calves rainy he on the Isle of Wight in the United Kingdom with a big British flag there. I love it.

John M 48:52

So anyway, I started not to read that anyway, but I read it there you go. That's the one I wasn't gonna read. And then here's another one from Steve. And thank you so much rainy William, I appreciate you. And another one in the super secret Facebook group Steve are posted. So we have several people in the secret Facebook group that kind of give they take something from the literature or you know the a literature usually and then they give in how they they quote the literature and then they give a little follow up a little commentary like you know if for those of you who know what, daily reflections is something very similar to that. So we have Steve are we have another guy I'm about to read Jason there's another gentleman a Rick that we have in there Nelson and I'm probably Oh, there's a Shawn who posts in there on a consistent basis. They Gary K is in there and posts and and I know I'm missing somebody and I apologize if I'm leaving you out. but those are the first ones that came to mind. And anyway, Steve are posts in there. And he said, and this is a quote from page 13 of the big book and Steve, our I call him our daily reflections guy. He is the one who always post something from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And on page 13, he says, I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood him to do with me as he would, I placed myself unreservedly under his care and direction, page 13. Wow. And that's from Bill's story, for those of you don't know, but anyway, he goes on and on. In fact, he says, I love how Bill phrases this, as I then understood, could Good point, Steve, I, I did not think about that, he said. But Steve says, my conception of God changes and grows and shrinks and evolves and blooms. Some days. It's a cerebral understanding. Other days, more heartfelt. Some days I feel led, most days I feel more observed. As from a loving parent watching a son with pride and happiness. My judgmental God is no more God as love, and I am loved. Step three. For me both step three, for me, both was an event, and is a daily decision. And he always ends it up this way. Help one save two, happy Saturday. And we have another gentleman in here. His name is Jason Z. And Jason has been posting a lot lately pretty much on a daily basis, I think. And he, uh, quoted from page 35 of the book. And he says, A is no success story. in the ordinary sense of the world. It is a story of suffering transmuted under grace into spiritual progress. As Bill sees it, oh, I'm sorry for that from our as Bill sees it, my apologies. And then he goes on for some commentary, and he says suffering change under grace into spiritual progress. In God's world, nothing is wasted. The broken state of my life in the summer of 2006, cracked my ego enough to allow the light of God and the suggestion of others who had been who had been my best interests at heart to take hold. But the initial surrender on July 15, of 2006 has turned into a daily surrender to God's will. Living in the moment while practicing acceptance, love and tolerance have become refrains in my daily journey. That experience of suffering doesn't disappear with the first day of sobriety. life on life's terms continues to deliver storms at times that can leave me feeling less than hopeful, and sometimes downright depressed. Fortunately, experience has shown me that reliance on God, and strong connections with my fellows will see me through these storms and that the experience will bring depth into my spiritual life.

John M 53:40

It also affords me the opportunities to share these experience is with others, letting them know that these storms can and will pass and that there are healthier ways to coping with suffering, that can yield some that can yield something positive. In the past, my best coping skills involved escaping temporarily, temporarily with alcohol, when I came to the suffering was still there, and it had been joined by still more negative consequences from the previous night's oblivion. We'll put there Jason, I don't have to live like that anymore. Thank God and neither does anyone else if they don't want to Happy Friday. Thank you, Jason. And last but not least, on the Instagram, a Anita sent a DM saying this. She says, John, thank you. I recently started listening to your podcast and joined your secret group. My boyfriend is an alcoholic and fights for sobriety every day. He's seven years sober. I want to be a support system for him. And I'm greedy for more information on the That's fantastic what a what a great support system you must be. Alright everybody that's another week of the podcasts. We take this one step at a time. I'll hopefully be back for Katie Pease say next week's we get her second episode on. May God bless you and keep you until then keep coming back. It works if you work it. Love you guys. Thanks for listening

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